Oh Sailor, Sail

Leave a Message.

2009-11-30T14:00:00.000-08:00

Step up and test your anger.
It'll hurt to see you come here.
Expectations cannot ground you.

Pretend there's life within you;
Biting your tongue, cracking your teeth.
Maybe blood will finally warn you.

You think that you are safe
when you can't be seen-- we see you.
You set your sights, we see, you set your sights.

Its great that you're so clever
It must be that I'm so naive.
Help me now, you'll break me later.

There's nothing left to do but walk away.
This is just a game-- so are you who you say?

.Birthday Love.

2009-11-16T18:28:00.000-08:00

None of you have to get me anything; just give me a smile and I'll be happy all the while :)

Em, but if you MUST. Here are some idea's:
-Food. bake me a bday cup cake with a lone sparkly candle and sprinkles.
-Vintage trinkets; music boxes, handheld mirrors, perfume bottles, old parisian posters
-Cool winter scarfs. <-- scarf is a weird word...
-Ear muffs or cute beanies with puff balls and ear protectors
-HAND MADES! Picture frames (with pics of us no doubt), scrap books, do-dads, I'd really love anything hand made from anyone:)
-Cute mix cd's :D
-Huge orange and yellow sunflowers
-Old horror movies
-Cute love letters and poems and songs
-Birthday picnic in FOREST FALLS (oh man)
-Birthday adventures in general, I love.

**EDIT** -Im kind of fat and could def eat more than 1 cupcake.

Mourn the Memories Later; Laugh Now Alligator

2009-11-14T01:19:00.000-08:00

In a dream I was a werewolf
My Soul was filled with crystal light
Lavendar ribbons of rain sang
Ridding my heart of mortal fright.

Don't say that You'll never know.

2009-11-04T01:54:00.000-08:00

Half the time it could seem funny
The other half is kind of sad
This west bound moon, it rises and falls.
Found you and I want you today

Misty Green and Blue:
Love to love to love you.

To be something, to be near you
I don’t know where I’m goin’ to
I’ve tried and I'd like you to stay.

All of my Qualifications

2009-10-12T20:36:00.000-07:00

Could not make up for the insecurities I have in my heart.

I wish I could say "what you see is what you get."
You know that isn't the case for either of us.

Is it worth it? We'll find out sooner or later I guess.

We called it love; it was really pity.

2009-09-29T23:00:00.000-07:00

And the truth is I was just scared for you,
but for me thats the way that it comes.
You'd gotten used to me and my awful tongue,
but god didn't we have some fun.
We made love in your moms car
And we drove with my hand in your lap.
And when San Diego got too unkind
We just picked up and left it behind.
and we had some love and some hope
a full tank of gas and a wide open road

it was love
to us, it was all that we had
and there's a day when you just break
the best thing you have.
but I still called it love
for now, it's the closest I've come.

First Shower

2009-09-08T21:50:00.003-07:00

And I did my best
Not to do the genie move
Failed miserably.

I Just wish.

2009-06-17T19:13:00.000-07:00

I wish I had someone who displayed unwavering loyalty.
I wish I didn't feel so damned alone all the time.
Maybe if I were alone, I wouldn't feel alone.
At least I'd have myself, yeah.

I'm just a burden in this world full of selfish, self righteous, self written, self's.
Call yourself what you want.

Coachella Widget

2009-02-27T19:37:00.001-08:00

You're coming back home to the west coast.

2008-05-11T22:13:00.000-07:00

For a second there, I thought you disappeared.
It hasn't rained a lot this time of year.

They don't believe in my guns, I can't believe in their views

2008-04-21T18:41:00.000-07:00

I got a hand, so I got a fist
So I got a plan it's the best that I can do.
Now we always say "it's in God's hands";
But God doesn't always have the best goddamn plans, does he?

People; I can trick them into thinking anything
You know, when rust sits just right in the light, its Gold.

Cause you know I've got baggage, I'm no rose.
But take a look at yourself, cause we're all
Sons and Daughters of Hungry Ghosts.

Its the easiest way.

Something Is Wrong..

2008-02-18T22:10:00.000-08:00

With the light of the sun, and the color of the sky...
With me, or everyone.

I never loved you.

2008-02-11T14:14:00.000-08:00

First: You lit me on fire.
Second: You walked clean away.

I didn't burn long. All the evidence of your donewrong was gone in seconds, I swear.
But if you had time anyway, why not watch me hurt?
And nothing is sweeter than needed revenge.
Oh, thats right. I did nothing; And YOU were the mean one, in fact, you even broke my good tape-deck.
In Fact. I don't wanna be friends.

Generation X

2008-02-08T12:09:00.000-08:00

You Are

The first Generation

Raised

Without

God

I swear I'll know your face in the crowd;

2008-01-28T13:25:00.000-08:00

And I'll hear your voice so loud, when you're whispering.

Oh sweet angel of mercy, with your grace like the morning, wrap your loving arms around me.

Hey unfaithful, I will teach you to be stronger.
Hey ungraceful, I will teach you to forgive one another.
Hey unloving, I will love you.

I'm ready to come home.

Mama Says:

2008-01-14T13:11:00.000-08:00

That the president should bring our troops home, because she is sick of people dying;

But she also thinks that women should be allowed to get abortions!

-----

Democrats believe its OK for women to kill, but not president Bush.

I am not who I want to be; I probly will not ever be.

2007-12-11T08:48:00.000-08:00

I am a freshman at one of the best CSU's in the state [which doesn't say much], far too liberal according to my faith, and I am the spokes-model for self-loathing narcissists; no one hates how great they are more than myself, and the fear of a downfall is what brings insecurity. The only thing important to me other than the 4 people that I would slice my wrists for, is my music. I view everything around me with a sympathetic contempt, and I associate with no group; and because I have made such a decision to choose no group, you can see why music is such a comfort and relic. I cherish individuals as I meet them, but when they choose sides I tend to confine to myself. I think most people take their lives far too seriously, and should try to relish the present more than anything else. Above all, you should know that I am not by any means a pessimist; it is a great chance that I'm one of the more optimistic peoples you have met. Though, I have to look out for myself, and I can't allow you even the slightest opportunity to hurt me. It isn't so that I don't trust you, but I hope you can know what I mean when I say that I don't trust myself. I can't say that I'm afraid of the future, but I would like never to be heartbroken again. I know you can't guarantee me that, but I should like you to try.

Rain fell slowly according to Castle time.

2007-11-24T20:24:00.000-08:00

I understand life as marked by certain primary experiences that happen early on that involve pleasure, followed by the pain of being disconnected from that pleasure, and the rest of life spent trying to make sense of that pain. That first moment of disconnection is like a shattering of glass that rings in your consciousness for the rest of your life, informing everything you witness and experience. It's that shattering that leaves the mark, I think - not the experience of pleasure itself. Nostalgia is trying to beautify that moment when everything shattered and broke - trying to make sense of the pain. Music is heightened nostalgia: music is that lost pleasure in a continuous process of being shattered. It's like this beautiful thing being held in front of your face that disintegrates if you try to touch it.

Dancing Lessons

2007-11-22T20:57:00.000-08:00

worms are the words but joy’s the voice

down shall go which and up come who

breasts will be breasts and thighs will be thighs

deeds cannot dream what dreams can do

-time is a tree (this life one leaf)

but love is the sky and i am for you

just so long and long enough.

On Faith. On Friendship.

2007-11-14T09:47:00.000-08:00

"Relationships don't work the way they do on television and in the movies. "Will they? Won't they?" And then they finally do, and they're happy forever. Gimme a break. Nine out of ten relationships end because they weren't right for each other to begin with, and half of the people who get married end up divorced anyway, and I'm telling you right now, through all this stuff I have not become a cynic. I haven't. Yes, I do happen to believe that love is mainly about becoming so insane about someone that they just completely consume you. & You can call me a sucker, I don't care, because I do... believe in it. Love."

Bottom line: People who are truly right for each other wade through the same crap as everybody else, but the big difference is that they don't let it take them down. One of those two people will stand up and fight for that relationship every time. If it's right, and they're real lucky, one of them will say something.

They are you.

2007-11-13T15:15:00.000-08:00

For the first time, today I felt sorry for him; because he doesn't even realize it. He truly believes he's doing his best, and I wouldn't at all doubt that he actually is. Though, As you like to say "He's just people. Just some guy trying to get by." Which I do, with all my heart, believe. But it is beyond our power to stop to urge to pity, and look down upon at times. I guarantee you do it all the time, yeah. You're doing it to me, and in all your hypocrisy, I won't say a word. I'll just accept it, and accept you, because I love you. I really do.
So I'm a little more 'verbal' about it. Well excuse me if you haven't realized that all I'm doing is pointing out imperfections, and I strictly recall letting you know that the imperfections are what I love most about people. The things that most people are unaccepting of are the things that make people human, and its so beautiful to me, but you've completely misinterpreted it, and by that you've really hurt my feelings.
Re-think your stance.

Birthday Wishlist.

2007-11-13T10:01:00.001-08:00

Monday, Nov. 19th

-Undwerwater case for my Camera [Olympus FE-230]
-No iPods
-Birthday Calls
-Take me to see TSOL and D.I. at the Echoplex on Nov 23rd.
-Balloons [babee ones. Don't be obnoxious]
-Orchids/Sunflowers
-Monies
-Dresses/hats/shoes/purses [my father is not getting out of buying me a new Coach bag]
-New Stereo
-Clever t-shirts
- tickets to kroq's Almost Acoustic Christmas
-Paint/poster boards
-Mittens
-New KILLERS cd
-Any other tight cd
-Especially Mix cd's
-Birthday mail.

Under a darkened Tent

2007-11-08T09:57:00.000-08:00

I curled my hair. I look like a banshee from behind.

It looked like it might be only moderately warm today, so I wore pants, a 3/4 sleeve shirt, and I didn't bring my jacket because it usually becomes baggage around midday. I wish I had brought it. Its really cold outside.
But still, not nearly as cold as it is inside. I still haven't managed to figure out how I keep myself from saying things I want to say, but I know that most of these things are the irrational fancies of my mind and heart, and that I would probably want to take them back after having actually said them.
I've been feeling pretty shitty lately. I can't talk to him, because he's no good at comforting; and I can't tell him that, because it would hurt his feelings. What the fuck is wrong with us? I love him, but I'm so worried about hurting him that I can't even talk to him? To say the least, please don't talk to me about it. It'll get better. I promise.

Thank God for my best friend. Because I wouldn't get anywhere without him. He [was the first] to show me the Ocean in a world full of Fire.

I would like to see

2007-11-07T12:29:00.000-08:00

A little more propriety.

Last night I forgot how I managed to pull the sky over between what I see and what I say; between what I say, and what I keep silent.

Not Fighting's a part of Baby's Romance.

2007-11-07T11:30:00.000-08:00

I'm Severina.
I have amazing friends.
I've seen amazing things.
I'm in love with this amazing boy.
Fer serious.