11.24.2007

Rain fell slowly according to Castle time.

I understand life as marked by certain primary experiences that happen early on that involve pleasure, followed by the pain of being disconnected from that pleasure, and the rest of life spent trying to make sense of that pain. That first moment of disconnection is like a shattering of glass that rings in your consciousness for the rest of your life, informing everything you witness and experience. It's that shattering that leaves the mark, I think - not the experience of pleasure itself. Nostalgia is trying to beautify that moment when everything shattered and broke - trying to make sense of the pain. Music is heightened nostalgia: music is that lost pleasure in a continuous process of being shattered. It's like this beautiful thing being held in front of your face that disintegrates if you try to touch it.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Definitely true. Have you ever read "Swann's Way?" It's all about that disconnection.

-Adam